12 Things I Learned Before 25

I hope these words are able to inspire you even more than the picture. Here are the twelve lessons. Please know that as a person I am a work in progress and fall short of these principles, but every day I strive to live by these I see more freedom in all areas of my life.

1.  Don’t Try to Read the Map while Driving

       Let’s think back before we had GPS and Google Maps to assist us with our travels. Take a second and reach into that small side pocket in the door of your car and pull out the old map. The ones my family had came with our AAA auto insurance policy. Go ahead and open it up and you will find a large static piece of paper showing an entire landscape covered with the network of roads, highways, and interstates that cover the United States. After orienting yourself and recognizing where the roads lead carefully choose your route.

      As you make your goals in life make sure to take the time to read and understand the map. Don’t freak out if you lose your way either. Just pull off to the side of the road and reach into that side pocket pull out your map again. When you follow this method you achieve progress. It’s easy to get caught up moving in the wrong direction due to the business of life. Evaluate how you are spending your time. See if it actually reflects your goals - your destination.  

2. Forgive Always

      You will not ever be able to achieve happiness while harboring hate for another person. When you refuse to forgive someone you a taking a weight upon yourself that is not meant to be carried, and this weight will go with you wherever you go. Picture a man getting ready for work in the morning, straightening his tie, combing his hair, then promptly picking up a bag of bricks and carrying it on his shoulders out the door. It seems out of place, because it is. Yet every day we make the choice to pick up the burden of unforgiveness and bitterness. I promise you that life is better without this burden, not only for you but to others around you too. When we cast down these burdens our capacity to genuinely love and care for others will flourish and you will see more joy in your life.

3.  Serve Others

      I am part of the group of young men and women who chose to go to college and get an education regardless of the cost. Sitting where I am today three years out of college, I will be paying off student loan debt for years to come. However, the lessons that I learned during those years have proved to be invaluable. It is Alma College’s mission to raise up students to think critically, serve generously, lead purposefully, and live responsibly. During college I had such a constant flow of service trips and community enrichment projects that serving others became second nature. Start saying yes to these opportunities and let helping others become a regular habit. Jesus said, “Whoever wants to be great must become a servant (Mt. 20:26).” Furthermore, when you choose to serve others you are actually ensuring that you will be taken care of no matter what. In the end what is more valuable, dinner at a four star restaurant or being able to feed a family of five who wouldn't be able to eat otherwise.  

 
4.  Go to Class

     When I was in college I was not a straight A student, and there were definitely times where I played too much Super Smash Brothers, but I hardly ever missed class. I can think of a few classes missed to deathly illness such as the Norovirus of 2008, or a fever, but other than that I was there every day. Even though I was not the smartest or the most disciplined student I was able to scrape by good marks because I was physically there and engaged in what the teacher was saying. This principle does not stop when you graduate from school. Strive to be the person who shows up to work physically and mentally. Work is an opportunity to create, change the world, and grow in character. When treated like this it becomes much more than doing the bare minimum in order to collect a paycheck. It becomes more than working hard to achieve a promotion or recognition too. Work as if pleasing your customers can change the world, because it does!  

         
5. Create Something of Value

      Take Bob and Larry for example. Say Bob decides to watch a TV show. No matter how funny, action packed, and entertaining the show Bob is still in the same position at the end of the show than he was at the beginning. Say that instead of watching the show Larry decides to write a few pages in his journal. When he finishes writing, Larry has advanced his position by creating two pages of writing. Regardless of the quality of the writing Larry has produced, he created a work 100 percent unique to him that no one could have made.

      In America we live in a consumer culture, from a young age we are taught to outsource every area of our lives. Food: Go to a restaurant and have someone make it for you instead of preparing it yourself. Car: take it to the auto shop to get it fixed. Ripped pants: buy new ones. There is joy in taking your life back. We live in an amazing world full of opportunities far greater than what is next in the Netflix queue. Start posturing yourself to create and let your old consuming habits die. There are scarves to be knitted, books to be written, cars to be fixed. The main reason I love writing is because it satisfies my desire to create something of value. Although it means I must forsake my fear of misspellings and wrong uses of the word “there.” It is my victory to silence the voice inside me whispering, “you have nothing important to say."

6.  Be Quick to Listen and Slow to Speak

     There is nothing more validating than when a person faces me, meets my eyes, and truly listens to what I have to say. When a person puts down everything to give 100 percent of their energy to me they show respect; a respect that is reciprocated when it is their turn to speak. Plus developing your listening skills give you the ability to key in on the values of others. Often times you get a glimpse of what life is like from their side of the table. When your turn to speak does come you will be able to meet that person where they are at. When you show a capacity to listen and understand others your likeliness of being heard increases.

7. Pay for your Friends Meal

     Most of us have grown up seeing the world as a place of scarcity, rather than a place of beauty and treasure. A world of competition rather than co-creation. There are countless opportunities to show the people you care about that the world is not dog-eat-dog. Whether it’s paying for your friend’s meal, a small gift, or doing the dishes, I am convinced these small actions will change the way the people around you see the world. By doing the small things you say, “This world is not dog-eat-dog, at least not when I am around.” 

8. Read Good Books

     Let’s take a second and compare the content that you find in TV and movies to the content in books. There is no comparison books win by a landslide! When you watch a TV show or movie keep in mind they are often created by big production companies who are less concerned with enrichment. The end is to draw you in and entertain you for an allotted period of time. While there are many books that strive for the same, there are host of amazing pieces of literature and self-development resources available only in text form. Be careful what you choose to consume, because what you read, watch, and listen to becomes a part of you. I say fill yourself with the good stuff and don’t look back. Not to mention we have the map to life the Bible. This should be the start and finish of everything we consume.

   
9.  Don’t Be Afraid to Go Back

     Sometimes I will drive home on weekends to Ann Arbor, Michigan to spend time with family and old friends. On one particular weekend I was passing Pioneer High School and decided to pull into the old parking lot. Instantly I was filled with memories. One of the best being carpooling with my friend Alex after school. At Pioneer the second the last bell rang… the race to get off campus began! Alex and I had a leg up on everyone else because we rolled in his 1998 Jeep Wrangler. When Alex was feeling bold he would turn the wheel, hop over the curb onto the grass, and proceed to cut in front of the entire line of cars. We would pull onto the main road and high-five, because we were on top of the world!

     Going back not only brings fond memories it also opens the door for healing. We live in a fallen world. A world where others have hurt us and we have hurt others. Strive for righteousness in all your relationships. Confess to one another the ways in which you have fallen short, and you will see light brought into situations that you thought would never change. Your bond with friends and family will grow stronger, and you will be able to go through life knowing that someone has your back.

      

  10.  Be More Concerned with Character not Reputation

“Be more concerned with your character than your reputation, because your

character is what you really are, while your reputation is merely what others

think you are.” ― John Wooden

        No matter how much you spend on a nice house, a car, or clothes you still have no control over the way others perceive you. Yet we don’t have to look far to find occasions to develop our character. In fact, when life presents us with a challenges they are opportunities to do just this. Look at examples of people who have great character. I am convinced that Nelson Mandela’s smile would not be as captivating if he hadn't spent 27 years in prison. Consider it a joy when life gives you trials because a steadfastness worth more than anything you can buy is being instilled in you.

   11.  Never Underestimate the Impact you have on Others

         This is the one that I struggle with the most. So often I will go through my entire day consumed with myself. It is impossible for me to impact others positively when I am focused solely on fulfilling my own needs. When I think of this lesson I think of this old Liberty Mutual commercial.

           Even just a small act of holding the door for someone or picking up litter on the street changes the world creates a positive impact. One of the greatest tools you can use to impact the world is your words. Words have power to either bring death or bring life to others. Encourage with your words, empower with your words. Strive to let no unwholesome talk come from your mouth. Seek to build others up rather than tear them down.

      

   12.   Posture Yourself to Receive

Last Christmas on my way back to Ann Arbor I stopped in to have Christmas dinner with some of my extended family in Livonia. My plan was to eat dinner, visit for a while, and then get home at a decent time to be with my immediate family. As we finished up the meal we sat at the table catching up with each other. My aunt announced that they would be opening presents soon and that was my cue. In the next ten minutes I was out the door and in the car. When I was halfway home I received a call from my aunt. I was so eager to get on with my agenda that I did not notice that they had bought me gifts for Christmas and I had left them under the tree.

        Look at the principles that I have laid out: Serve Others, Go to Class, Create Something of Value, and Pay for your Friends Meal. There is no way that you can do all this without posturing yourself to receive. This has to start with receiving from God. God does not bless us based on our need. Rather, he blesses us based on his abundance. There is nothing we can do to deserve his love and grace besides have faith that Jesus has already paid the price for our sins. Right now we are living in a time where his victory is available to those who believe. The principles illustrated are simple do what is right, yet they are impossible unless you accept God’s righteousness. The good news is that when Jesus saves he also gives us a new identity in his holiness like a white robe that envelops from head-to-toe. Grab on to his love. Hold fast to his promises, and you will do what is right.